Trendy Entrepreneurs are Opening a Fellatio Cafe in London

Tired of the predictable routine trip to get your morning coffee? Has the novelty of Starbucks writing your name with a Sharpie finally worn off? [13] First we had a cat cafe, then a bunny cafe, a naked restaurant and now an entrepreneur is planning to open…a blow job cafe. Yes you read that correctly.  Bumpix, a social networking site for escorts, is already planning to open a branch in Geneva this December, and is now hoping to open a ‘fellatio cafe’ in Praed Street, Paddington.  [1] A variation on the British capital’s current vogue for nude dining establishments, Fellatio Café would also be the latest in a very long line of bizarre coffee shops in the capital — a tradition London should be ashamed of, especially when we take a look at this latest potential addition. [10] According to Bumpix employee Bradley Charvert, it’ll be able to cater for up to 100 men (it’s ~exclusively~ for male clientele) who can sit and have a coffee. And be pleasured by an escort.  [1] When quizzed with how he came up with the concept, Bradley ( who’s been working in the erotic business for 10 years) reasoned that “everyone drinks coffee, its social” and that he was inspired by things he’d seen in Pattaya, Thailand, adding “we saw this kind of café [there] a few years ago.”  [4] We decided to launch it in Geneva, then our partner Bumpix contacted us, asking us to launch this in the UK – using his social network of UK escorts in order to promote the concept,’ Bradley tells Metro.co.uk.  He says that Paddington ‘seems to be the perfect place’ for such a business but, as they haven’t secured the premises yet, they’re not against looking at other sites around London. [1]  “[The launch] is an extraordinary moment not just for London, but for the entire country,” said a spokesman, who wishes to remain anonymous. [3]

But solicitor Myles Jackman, a leading sexual-freedom advocate, disagrees: “While I have campaigned for and support the movement for sex workers’ rights on the basis of protecting sex workers’ safety,” he said. “I am struggling to see how multiple sex workers operating from the same premises does not constitute brothel keeping under the current legal framework prohibiting organized prostitution.” The founders, however, are optimistic. “In many ways, our cafe will bring sex into the mainstream, and onto the high street, for the first time,” said the spokesman from BumPix. [3]

So, how exactly is this going to work?  Thanks to Bumpix’s extensive networks, Bradley says, ‘we’ve already got a lot of girls who want to work on this new project.’  [1] But, he says that he cannot say legally whether they will be self-employed or not. Currently, the law says that while prostitution isn’t illegal, pimping and running a brothel is.  Asked whether the sex workers will also serve the coffee, Charvet replied that there’ll be two types of girl working at the cafe – ‘sexy waitresses’ who serve coffee, and ‘hostesses’ who will ‘offer the blow jobs’.  As you might have guessed, the biggest problem right now is the legality of the project. [1] [5] A few UK escorts did contact the cafe when the newspapers first reported this concept. They know how to do good service so it is obviously their main collaborator target. [2] There’s a strong case for legalising prostitution – allowing people to do whatever they want with their bodies, consensually – and properly regulated prostitution would be much safer for sex workers. [2] BumPix’s spokesman described a planned online contest to choose the cafe’s sex workers: “In order to work at the cafe, the sex worker has to send us her application,” he said. “This application would be submitted to the vote of the BumPix community and regular customers. If the sex worker gets more than 50 percent, yes, she’s hired!”  [3]

‘UK laws are different to those in Switzerland where the first fellatio cafe will open,’ says Bradley.  ‘We’ll let our lawyer do his job to make it possible. But be sure of one thing, we will launch this project only if everything is perfectly legal.’  [1] The strict law certainly prohibits a cafe serving blowjobs alongside lattes and biscuits, and while brothel-keeping itself is only illegal for the brothel’s organizer, the sex workers selling services are not themselves charged. But that doesn’t mean they don’t face any legal risk from working in a fellatio cafe; sex workers working in brothels that are raided by police can get arrested or detained, beaten, outed to their communities, or deported.[3]  A spokesman for Westminster City Council told the Standard that such a venue would not be able to get a license.  While selling sex is not illegal in Britain, the café could breach laws against owning and running a brothel or pimping.  The End Violence Against Women Foundation, a campaign group which advocates decriminalizing prostitution, but not their clients or pimps, doubts the business will actually go ahead.  “I think it would break a number of laws,” co-director Rachel Krys told the Evening Standard.  [7] “People around and about the area where places like this open also experience an increase in men behaving unpleasantly, which is why the licensing laws are very strict.” [6]  But speaking to RT, prominent sex worker and activist Charlotte Rose said she welcomes the business setting up shop in London.  “I think anything coming up in today’s society with more positivity for sexual liberation is great as far as I’m concerned.  “At the end of the day if you’re not happy about it, don’t go in there,” she added.  Rose even said she is looking to use space in the café for her own “workshops.”  “I just sent an email asking him if he’s going to have any space to rent that I could possibly do some workshops from. Ideally, I would love to be able to teach classes for cunnilingus and fellatio,” she said. [6] So, beyond the silliness, we suspect that there are many who secretly want it to go ahead. Indeed, one in ten British men have paid for sex; that’s a lot. [14]

The Baroque-themed, 150m² café will serve coffee and a few pastries, with customers being given an iPad on which to choose an escort from a list of thumbnails to perform oral sex on them. [2] The chosen escort will then perform oral sex on hopeful coffee-slurpers – but it does come at an extra cost. [4] The menu will largely be comprised of coffees, teas, and other ‘sweets’, with prices beginning at £50 and rising to £70 – depending on how long the BJ lasts. [1]  The legality of this is somewhat of a grey area, with prostitution itself being legal in Great Britain but the running of a brothel a crime. Charvet, however, insists “everything related to [the Fellatio Café] is legal” and his “lawyer is currently setting everything up”. [2] [4] And as you can imagine, they’ve been getting quite a lot of reactions to the news.  ‘A lot of people have been saying ‘good idea…but will there be a Pokestop near it?’ or ‘Amazing! A new way to solve the Brexit issue!’, Bradley says.  But as you can probably imagine, a blow job cafe catering exclusively for men hasn’t gone down well in some quarters. [1]  The Independent asked the question directly: “Many will claim, though, that the idea of customers getting fellated by women while drinking coffee is misogynistic, what do you say to that? Will female customers be welcome, for a little cunnilingus and coffee?”  Their answer:  “It’s not scheduled for women at the moment. This question is frequently asked and we are gonna think about it later on. If there is a real demand, we will do the necessary.” [2]

We know that when London got a (not even sexualised) naked restaurant there was a waiting list of 50,000. Keeping this in mind The Independent aked Charvet if they will be able to meet the demand in case of a similar success? He answered: “The location is going to be like more or less 150m²… If the café is a success, it will be hard to handle the massive interest. We already have plans to deploy a franchise to duplicate the concept all over England.” [2]

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