Florida Teen Caught Humping Stuffed Horse in Walmart

Sean Johnson

Teen boys: there’s no telling where their libidos might take them.  [14] Most folks love going to Walmart for the low prices, but 19-year-old Sean Johnson didn’t go for the deals. [1]  Loss prevention at a Walmart in Brooksville, Fla. say they saw Sean walking suspiciously down the store aisles, so they kept a close eye on him through their surveillance cameras. What they saw next was something they really weren’t expecting; some major PDA. But the public display of affection wasn’t with a person. [1] Johnson selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department, and then walked over to the store’s bed display. [9] Yeah, and you can guess what happened next.  Security cameras captured him violating the stuffed animal. [5] He basically turned an innocent stuffed horse into his personal sex toy in front of everybody walking in the store. [2] The arrest report cited by The Smoking Gun described in graphic detail how the 19-year-old man allegedly pulled out his genitals so he could ‘hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements’ until he achieved satisfaction. [2] After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” the cameras then captured Johnson putting the toy covered in ejaculate back on the store shelf next to other items. [7] [8] When Sean was done, he zipped up and walked out. But management had already called the police. Johnson fled before store security could stop him, but Brooksville police made the arrest, The Smoking Gun reported. [4] [9] We have to assume security personnel were rolling on the floor laughing, while vomiting, maybe, and that’s why they failed to apprehend the plushie fucker before he was able to make it out of the store. [19]

When questioned by police, Johnson reportedly came clean about his bizarre amorous encounter with an inanimate plaything. [2] ‘I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal,’ Johnson said in a written statement. ‘The officer put it into perspective of what would happen if somebody would pick it up and use it. [2]   ‘I did not think of it the way he put it and I so feel like I did a horrible act.’ [1]  Yes, this is funny, but it’s also extremely disturbing that someone who is legally an adult would do something so… ridiculous and obscene in the toy aisle. If this guy had been doing this in front of my kids, I can assure you he would have been asleep long before the cops had gotten there. [21]  Wal-Mart then rounded up the merchandise — and others that came in contact with it — and removed it from the shelf  and have been disposed of after being deemed contaminated and unsalable.. [4]  The Smoking Gun reports that 20-year-old Sean Johnson pleaded no contest to charges of criminal mischief and indecent exposure. [5] [15]  Johnson was sentenced to a year of probation, and will have to pay $700 in fines and restitution. In addition to having a one-year prison sentence suspended, Johnson was ordered to stay away from the victim. As the Smoking Gun acknowledges, this refers to Walmart, rather than the stuffed animal. [5] He was released from Hernando County jail on $1,500 bond at 9:45 p.m. [4] This disgusting and pathetic story is just one more (very compelling) reason not to shop at Walmart! [16]  Walmart has seen its fair share of crimes — several instances of customers shooting other Walmart shoppers or employees have occurred over the past few years. One study even claimed that Walmart opening up shop in an area was linked to an increase in the area’s crime rate, according to The Huffington Post. Walmart disputed the claim, saying that the store does a lot of good for communities. [15]