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Underwear Patch To Make Your Farts Smell Like Mint

fart-refersherHumans have landed on the moon, harnessed the power of the atom, and now we can hide the smell of our own farts with this new product called the Flatulence Deodorizer! [6] After many years and thanks to the collaboration of the world’s best scientific researchers there has been a revolutionary discovery this year: the underwear patch. [2] Colonial Medical Assisted Devices, an online medical supply website, has created the ultimate scented pad, The Flatulence Deodorizer, to mask everything that comes out of your rear end. They’ve also designed a padded scented pillow, just in case you decide to fart in your chair for a few hours. [1]  Betts-Clarke says it can squash the smell of “200 times the average flatulence emission.” [8] Here’s how Shreddies explains its magic:  Shreddies flatulence filtering underwear features a ‘Zorflex’ activated carbon back panel that absorbs all flatulence odours. Due to its highly porous nature, the odour vapours become trapped and neutralised by the cloth, which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment. [4] You think this is stupid? Well, believe it or not, the British line of fart-filtering underwear is now doing big business, and it has the United States to thank for it. “Americans are making up the majority of our sales at the moment,” Shreddies spokeswoman Ianthe Betts-Clarke told The Huffington Post. [8] Since word about the odor-neutralizing Shreddies passed through the Internet a few days ago, the company has experienced a 400 percent increase in orders over all, Betts-Clarke estimated. [8] And fellas, if you’re trying to disguise your scent wearing boxer shorts — it won’t work. These pads are specifically designed for panties, briefs and even pantyhose.  [1] Let’s hope there will be more flavors available to those patches. Which flavor would you prefer? [7]
But all jokes aside, farts (as natural as they are) can still be embarrassing for a lot of us in numerous situations. Imagine being in the bathroom stall beside your co-worker or boss and instead of letting one go, you try to hold it in.  [9] Awkward? Sure. Healthy? Maybe not.  Unfortunately, your muscles are only able to hold in farts for a short period of time and holding in gas can result in stomach aches and unexpected release times, according to PopSugar.com. [10] Chewing your food slowly, avoiding carbonated drinks and even chewing less gum are all ways to decrease the amount of gas you pass. So consequently, it diminishes your chances of being embarassed.  And if (god forbid) you have excessive gas, you should go see the family doctor. Some excessive gas cases have lead to irritable bowel syndrome. [11]
[1] How To Hide Your Farts: The Flatulence Deodorizer Attempts To Mask Scent, The Huffington Post Canada, 06/29/2012 4:41 pm EDT
[2] Underwear Patch To Make Your Farts Smell Like Mint, Bamboozo,  September 20, 2014 at 9:29pm
[3]  Researchers Invent Underwear Patch to Make Farts Smell Like Fresh Mint, All Singapore Stuff, Fri, 17/04/2015 – 10:25am
[4] Casey Chan, This Magical Pair of Underwear Can Filter Out Your Fart’s Smell, Gizmodo, 10/21/13 10:35pm
[5] Nic Holland, Underwear patch that makes your farts smell like mint is a thing that exists, Scoopla, 18 April, 2015
[6] Buy Underwear That Turns Fart Smell to Mint, Hot 97.5 Online, September 26, 2014 12:31 PM
[7] Make Your Farts Smell Like Mint With This Underwear Patch, Gamen Gadgets, October 26, 2014
[8] Ron Dicker, Fart Filtering Underwear Said To Neutralize Stink Of Passing Gas, The Huffington Post, 10/24/2013 1:07 pm EDT
[9] Arti Patel, Quick Study: How To Avoid Awkward Situations With Your Boss, The Huffington Post Canada, 04/23/2012 10:48 am EDT
[10] Jenny Sugar, You Asked: Is Holding In Gas Bad?, Pop Sugar, 4/08/10


About Bill Wallace

Bill Wallace is a self-fashioned writter, a computer programmer and cybermarketer from Quebec City, Canada who decided to enter the political arena after his disillusionment with the socialist system under which he was living in the French Canadian province of Quebec.

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