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The New Cum Drinking Lunacy. Need a Drink?

Sperm Drinking: The New “Trendy” Thing to Do

semenology-cover-large  The New Cum Drinking Lunacy. Need a Drink? semenology cover largeIf you thought egg whites were a funky addition to cocktail menus around the country, you ain’t seen nothing yet. [8] We’ve seen some strange food trends in our day. But this one absolutely, positively, beyond any shadow of a doubt, takes the cake.  [6] The author behind Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes, Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer, has jumped on the “mixology” bandwagon with his new book entitled Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook.  Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. With his latest piece of work, Photenhauer might be taking the word “cock-tail” a little too literally. [1] Even if you are all for experimentation and always up for cocktails, you can ask yourself this perfectly legitimate question: are the bartenders of the world really looking to add semen to their cocktails? Are they nuts?  For some people this whole semen thing is not a very big deal. “Who hasn’t had a mouth full of cum at some point of their life? ,” Vice asked it’s readers. [3]  “This is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits,” announces the Semenology display copy. [1] “Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice.” [1]

Fotie’s first book Nature’s Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes was very well received when it was released back in 2008—and the sales propelled him to travel the world and find new ways to infuse semen and gastronomy. [3] This led to more experimenting, and his new book that teaches its reader the unconventional art of semen-based mixology. [3] Photenhauer argues that the complexities of semen could be compared to those in wine or cheese, and that the ingredient adds a special “personal touch.” [6] They have recipes like Slightly Saltier Caviar, Special ‘S’ Barbecue Sauce, Mexican Cumslide, and Watermelon Gin Jizz, all which require teaspoons and tablespoons of the stuff. There are sentences such as, “Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic,” along with tips on how to make one’s semen taste better (ginger!) and last longer (keep it in the freezer!). And then there are the photos, which give a new dimension to the term “food porn.” [2] The book also expounds on the health and beauty benefits of drinking semen, which theoretically include better skin, stronger nails, and shinier hair. The 56-page book was published through Amazon’s CreateSpace self-publishing platform and is available for $22.95. And there are full-color photos. Used copies are available, but this might be a good time to shell out for a new one.

jizz-bar  The New Cum Drinking Lunacy. Need a Drink? jizz barPhotenhauer admits his favorite ingredient is unusual, but says the motivation for writing his cookbooks came from wanting to explore why it was considered as weird as it is. “People eat all kinds of weird stuff,” Photenhauer said to SF Weekly. [2] “Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is…at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.” [2] When talking with him about this delicate subject, he made semen-eating seem, if not reasonable, at least mostly harmless. [2] For starters, Photenhauer isn’t some perv who drinks semen all day — he says he reserves semen cooking for special, intimate encounters with his partner. “For me, it’s more of a fun twist to add to food, or in this case a drink. It adds a definite personal twist to it,” he says. [1] “I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with.” [2] [9] Though semen cocktails don’t equal sexytimes for most of us, the cookbooks do bring up the question of why semen-swallowing is such a social taboo outside the bedroom. Which is how Photenhauer got the idea in the first place, at a dinner party back in 2006. [2] The conversation at the table turned to spitting or swallowing, and he noticed that everyone, gay or straight, expected their partner to swallow but weren’t necessarily willing to reciprocate. [2] Maybe it’s because we’re all so hyper aware of sexually transmitted diseases or maybe we’ve just had one too many encounters with a bad dick? [3] The other philosophical question that arises after that is the following: “If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen — I mean, it’s your semen,” Photenhauer said.  [2]  Another question that is haunting Photenhauer is whether “why is eating semen so much weirder than having a yogurt? [2] Answering his own question he says: “I mean, I get it. I’m not an idiot. I get that there’s a difference. But the question is, why is it so much different?” [2]

The seminal fluid of codfish is a delicacy in Japan. Is cooking with the human version really that much weirder? Yes. Yes it is. Photenhauer says he sources his ingredients locally, using mainly either his own materials or his partner’s, though he says they sometimes have dinner parties. [1] But at least Photenhauer isn’t so crazy as to suggest ordering any of his concoctions from one’s friendly neighborhood mixologist. “I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with,” he clarified. [1]  Would you ever drink a semen cocktail? Well, Ami Angelowicz, writer for the web magazine The Frisky, said that she won’t jump into this bandwagon any time soon:

I can endorse sperm as a cure for morning sickness or even as a natural mood booster, but, I’m sorry, I refuse to drink a semen cocktail. We all have to draw the line somewhere and this where I draw mine. I refuse to walk into a bar and order a “Galliano Cum Shot” or a “Slightly Saltier Caviar.”

Equally disgusted, Natasha Burton, writer for Cosmopolitan, asked:

What’s next? The Period Bloody Mary? Or a White Russian made with breast milk? [11]

And Damien Basile from Querty asked his readers:

Are you ready to try a Cum and Coke? Or perhaps a Penis Colada. Or — wait for it — a Dong Island Iced Tea? [14]

Is Semen Good for Your Health?

We all know that semen contains sperm, but that is only one percent of what makes a man’s seminal fluid. Some other ingredients that semen does include are water, fructose (sugar), prostglandin, vitamin C, zinc, protein, lactic acid, magnesium, calcium chlorine, citric acid, creatine, potassium, vitamin B12, sodium, nitrogen, and phosphorus. Considering the above compounds, semen does seem to be quite a healthy thing to swallow. [5] However, many women are concerned about the fact that semen may make them gain weight. On an average, a man’s ejaculate contains approximately 5 to 25 calories, so it’s definitely not fattening at all. [5] As mentioned above, it definitely does contain protein. However, its protein content is roughly equal to the protein content of an egg white. So, if you are thinking of eating semen to get enough protein, why not just stick to the white portion of a large egg.  [5]

For all those reason, there is a theory out there that seminal plasma (the fluid that provides nutrients and protection for sperm, consisting of a complex range of organic and inorganic constituents) may have many health benefits. [4] The alleged benefits of seminal plasma are activated when a man deposits semen into a woman’s vagina. Newer research suggests that the same benefits may be available if the seminal plasma is swallowed. Some theories even suggest that semen deposited anally will offer the same benefits. The existence of “butt plugs” suggest that some men may want to keep the seminal plasma inside. [4] A study done of college students in New York found that semen is a good antidepressant. Females who had sex without condoms reported having fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or did not have sex at all. It is believed that the nutritious components present in the semen may get absorbed through the vagina into the bloodstream.  [5] Here are ten alleged health benefits of seminal plasma:

1. Natural anti-depressant.
2. Natural anxiety reducer.
3. Improves quality of sleep.
4. Increases energy.
5. Improves concentration.
6. Improves memory.
7. Improves mental alertness.
8. Assists with pregnancy maintenance.
9. Increases female-initiated sexual behavior.
10. Reduces pain.

Semen shouldn’t make anybody sick unless you find it gross to swallow and just throw up because you find it disgusting to eat cum. [5] It seems that biologically, women are more apt to semenology than mens. A study recently published by Dutch psychologists showed that when women are sexually aroused, their disgust tolerance increases — not just regarding sex, but across the board. [4]  However, if you are a woman and want to give oral sex to your man and swallow his semen, keep in mind that you do put yourself at risk of getting sexually-transmitted diseases. [5] If you are a man who has just swallowed his semen, here is what happens to your sperm in that case. Your sperm gets broken down and gets absorbed into your bloodstream. It’s just like drinking water or milk. If you don’t have any STDs, it is perfectly safe to ingest your own semen.  [5]

Semen isn’t the only human excretion making its way into our drinks. Breast-milk cocktails are, surprisingly, more common than one might think. In 2010, the Huffington Post ran a piece on “mother’s milk cocktails for stay-at-home-dads.” [7] Writer and father Tony Sachs had developed a series of cocktails mixed with his wife’s milk in an effort to alleviate the surplus she was producing. Father knows breast, I suppose. Among the concoctions were “The Boob Abides” (a lot like a traditional White Russian), “ ‘Taking Brandy from a Baby’ Milk Punch,” and “Medela Tequila Punch” (Medela is a breast pump brand). [7]

Stag Semen Cocktail in New Zeland

A pub in Wellington NZ has added a new “semen” drink to it’s cocktail menu. The drink offers patrons a syringe, loaded with kiwi fruit liquer, yoghurt and stag semen. [18] The pub is also known for their apple infused horse semen shots, which were part of an entry in the 2011 national wild food competition. Apparently it was unable to compete however as the shots had completely sold out before the judges were able to taste.  Ms Sarah Wood, the function manager of the Green Man says she expects the drink to be popular, especially amongst men on their stag nights. She also says she tried the drink. She told DPA “Once you get past the fact that there is stag semen in it, it is actually quite a nice wee concoction”.  [18] [20] She said a couple of customers had already tried the drink, but she was expecting more on Friday, traditionally their busiest night. [20] “We are waiting for some game punters to come in and give it a go.” Overall feedback so far was that the drink was really “not that bad,” she said. [20] The semen itself is stored in liquid nitrogen and made into the drink each morning. It also contains 4,000 sperm per serving. The semen itself is sourced from a single stag named Hannibal. “You would call him a perfect stag really, he is healthy, his semen is export quality.” [20] Ms Wood says she does not expect the stag to have any trouble producing the amount of semen required. The pub tailored the drink to accompany a meal of venison but says for the less adventurous a dark porter beer is suitable also. [18] [20]

Donkey Sperm Drinking of Fear Factor

Sperm drinking was also in the news back in 2012 when Fear Factor asked its contestants to drink semen harvested from a donkey. It’s one thing to face your fear of heights. It’s quite another to have to look at a glass of donkey semen and be asked to drink it. [19] But that’s exactly what NBC’s Fear Factor had asked contestants to do in one of its episode… an episode which has been pulled from the schedule. [19] TMZ reports that the episode, originally slated to air January 30th, featured contestants being asked to drink a glass of donkey semen and a glass of donkey urine. Then, execs got second thoughts and pulled it from the air, in favor of a repeat. [19]

[1] Elizabeth Licata, Would You Ever Drink A Semen Cocktail?, The Gloss, Sat, Apr 6 2013
[2] Anna Roth, Semen Cocktails: The Mixology of Man Sauce Is a Real Thing, SF Weekly, Thu, Apr 4, 2013 at 1:15 PM
[3] Gabe Gilker, Getting Wasted on Cum Cocktails, Vice, April 19, 2013
[4] Professor Kimberly Resnick Anderson, 10 Surprising Health Benefits Of Semen, Your Tango
[5] Is it healthy to eat sperm or just gross?, Increase Sperm Volume,  06.25.2014
[7] Erin Coulehan, The Mixology of Man Sauce and Breast Milk, Gross, Salon, 2013/04/10
[8] Laura Beck, Gag Me: Semen Cocktails Are Now a Thing, Jezebel, 4/08/13 8:30pm
[9] Ruth Manuel-Logan, Semen Cocktails Are Latest Craze?, New One, Apr 12, 2013
[10] Ami Angelowicz, I’m Sorry, I Refuse To Drink A Semen Cocktail, The Frisky, April 5, 2013
[11] Natasha Burton, Semen: It’s What’s for Happy Hour?!, Cosmopolitan, Apr 5, 2013 @ 1:57 PM
[14] Damien Basile, Jizz On The Rocks: Introducing Semen-Infused Cocktails, Queerty, Oct 22, 2013
[15] Claire Sutton, Semen Cocktails, News Talk, 14:55 Friday 13 September 2013
[16] Justine Goodman, It’s a Beautiful Day for a Semen Cocktail. Wait, WHAT?, Maxim, April 9, 2013
[17] Rachael Moshman, Got sperm? New semen cocktail cookbook released, The Examiner, April 9, 2013 7:52 PM MST
[18] David Bloop, Stag Semen Cocktail On Menu In Wellington, BubbleNews, July 5, 2013
[19] Brian Balthazar , Gross Factor: NBC Pulls Fear Factor Episode Featuring Donkey Semen Cocktail, Pop Goes the Week, 2012/01
[20] Wellington pub offering stag semen cocktail, TNT Magazine, 4th Jul 2013 10:03am
[21] Jennifer Wright, Why Are These Women Drinking Donkey Semen?, The Gloss, Mon, Jun 11 2012


About Bill Wallace

Bill Wallace is a self-fashioned writter, a computer programmer and cybermarketer from Quebec City, Canada who decided to enter the political arena after his disillusionment with the socialist system under which he was living in the French Canadian province of Quebec.

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