Dr Ozzy’s Magazine Chronicle
Believe it not, Ozzy Osbourne now have his own medical chronicle. Everybody knows that the fabled former front-man of Black Sabbath and patriarch of reality TV Ozzy Osbourne has traveled a path wrought with myriad highs and lows. Most people also know that the man, like him or not, is a living testimony of endurance and human resilience. So who better, then, to write a chronicle providing consultation for those seeking psychological and medical advice? In his new chronicle entitled “Ask Dr. Ozzy,” rock n roll most tireless survivors does just that. The genesis of the Dr. Ozzy columns began when Ozzy decided to have his DNA mapped to determine if science could perhaps explain how he survived his nearly four decade avalanche of drugs and alcohol. The “Full Ozzy Genome” contained variants that scientists had never before encountered. In fact, the findings made headlines around the world and even led to Ozzy hosting a prestigious TED conference. So, in his latest book the Prince of Darkness embraces his status as a medical marvel to tell incredible stories, offer advices as only he can and shed light on his seemingly superhuman ability to stay alive. At the begining of his new book, Ozzy tell his reader that this this whole “Dr Ozzy” is even older that the Genome Project stuff. This how things really started:
In fact, my friends knew me as “Dr Ozzy” for years before I started giving advices professionally, ‘cos I was like a walking pharmacy. I remember in the 1980’s, a good mate of mine came to me for help with his leg ache, so I went to get my “special suitcase,” pulled out a pill the size of a golf ball, and said, “Hewre, take one of these.” It was Ibuprofen before you could buy it over-the-counter in Britain. He came back a few hours later and said: “Wow! Dr Ozzy, you cured me!” The only problem is that I gave him enough to cure an elephant. The bloke didn’t shit or sleep for two months. [1]
That’s not all. Dr Ozzy is not just about medication. People appeal to him for all kinds of issues. As a matter of fact, as insane as it sounds, Ozzy tell us, “a lot of people have come to me for family advice.” (p.xx) It is hard to tell what compells people to think that a man who’s the media used to call The Prince of Darkness may have the solution to any of their problems. But they keep on coming. “I suppose it’s cos they saw me raising Jack and Kelly during The Osbournes, and they think I’m like an undead Bill Cosby or something,” he mused. The subject that people are asking him about are just mind boggling:
To be honnest with you, I can still hardly believe the stuff people write me about. [2]
Ozzy’s Co-Author and Helper
Chris Ayres
Fortunately for him, Ozzy is not alone when the time comes to write and articulate all that stuff, he has a co-writter help him out in the person of renowned journalist Chris Ayres. You’ll understand that Ozzy is getting old, he is dyslexic and doesn’t know shit about book writting. So it is obvious that he needed some help. This is where a man like Chris Ayres comes in handy. Ayres was born in 1975 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England, but now lives in Los Angeles. On top of currently co-writting the ‘Ask Dr Ozzy’ column with Ozzy Osbourne for The Sunday Times Magazine (London) and Rolling Stone, Ayres is also a regular contributor to British GQ and The Times (London), he writes occasional columns for The Los Angeles Times and he has been published in magazines like Forbes, Conde Nast Traveller, and Playboy. Chris Ayres has also assisted Ozzy (or maybe it was Ozzy that assisted him) in the writtings of two major New York Times bestsellers. Their first book was entitled I Am Ozzy, a strange piece of litterature that won the Literary Achievement honor attributed at the 2010 Guys’ Choice Award and now thay are coming with a new one, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, which is based on Chris’ long-running column that he writes with Ozzy for Rolling Stone Magazine.
A Chronicle Now Turned into a Book
Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice from Rock’s Ultimate Survivor (shortened to Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy) is Ozzy Osbourne latest book that came out in October 2012. [1] Of course the book was co-written with his long time collaborator, Chris Ayres, because of Osbourne’s dyslexia. It is the sequel to his 2010 release I Am Ozzy. Based on his on going, Rolling Stone (U.S.) Sunday Times (U.K.) columns, Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy include the best material from the columns, as well as survival stories not found in Ozzy’s memoir, his answers to celebrities’ medical questions, and many other kind of stuff. Ozzy says that he has become a better father recently. He fullty admit that during the worst days of his addiction he wasn’t really a father at all and that he was “just another one of Sharon’s kids.” [2a] But today Ozzy says that he is pretty much a different person. He don’t drink, he doesn’t get high which means he can enjoy his family more than ever. It is also worth mentioning that not only Ozzy have five kids, but he also have five grandkids too. So, everything seems to be going very well for Ozzy, he is eating better, he is exercizing and on top of that he is now a New York Time best-selling writer. When giving his “advices,” he doesn’t try to stand on any fake moral high ground. Ozzy is also perfectly conscious of the fact that since so many people have heard all kind of crazy stories about him (most of them true), the general public probably think that he’s too much of a bad example to give advice. “I wouldn’t argue,” he admit. But the man doesn’t recommend anybody to try live out their lives like he did:
I’d hate for anyone to think, “Oh, if Ozzy survived all that outrageous behaviour, then so can I.” [3]
It seems that Ozzy finally settled down and even if he didn’t always been what we could call a very good “role model,” the bad boy of rock n roll is now determined to set a good example. He is clean, he feels younger than ever and he is fully functional, writting columns, books, he’s doing some shows, etc. Even though he set himself as giving advices, he’s not there to moralize but to share with his fans the hard lessons that his life of excess have taught him. So why not?
If people can learn from my stupid shit without having to repeat any of it; or if they can take some comfort from the crazy, fucked-up things my family has been through over the years; or if just hearing me talk about getting tested for colon cancer, that’s more than enough for me: Dr Ozzy’s job will be done. [4]
Strangely Enough, Right About Now, Ozzy Osbourne Make More Sense than your Average Politician or Hollywood Celebrity
You can say what you want about Ozzy Osbourne, I don’t know what happen to him but right now he is making more sense and transmit a better message to the youth than any democratic party candidate, any Congress member, or for that matter any President of the United States. Maybe we just doesn’t have the same “Princes of Darkness” anymore. Or maybe it’s the demons of heavy metal music that have just moved to the White House. Anyway! Even among Hollywood celebrities, Ozzy’s message seems to be more positive and family value oriented than most of the performers currently in vogue in pop culture. He certainly send a better message to the youngsters than Miley Cyrus, Kate Perry, Rhianna, Beyonce and most of those who make the headlines of entertrainment news nowadays. Here is the proof:
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[1] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, p.xx.
[2] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, p. xxiv
[2a] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, p. xxi
[3] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, p. xxvii
[4] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Dr Ozzy, p.xxvii
