Ozzy Turns Vegetarian
According to his own testimony, Ozzy Osbourne is “a new man now” in a lot of ways. He might be old but he says that he never felt so young since the sixties. One of the major changes he made, he tells us, is that he became pretty much a vegetarian. He revealed his decision to cut meat and dairy from his meals on The Talk, a TV show co-hosted by his wife Sharon, in Fall 2011. The 62-year-old says he was inspired by the documentary Forks Over Knives. Osbourne believes the diet will improve his health and says, “I feel better about myself, you know? That‘s the reason why I decided to cut out meat out and dairy because … when you‘re on the road and you’re traveling, you grab buns and … burgers are everywhere … so now I’ve just narrowed the margin.” Despite what Ozzy said that day, environmentalists and vegan Black Sabbath fans will be disapointed to learn that the Prince of Darkness reveals in his last book that the real “down to earth” reasons that motivated his sudden change in eating habits didn’t really involved the listening of Fork over Knives, they don’t have anything to do with saving the environment from greenhouse gases and they certainly don’t have anything to do with animal rights issues either. It simply was because he “cant’s digest meat anymore.” In his book Trust Me. I Am Dr Ozzy, he confess to his readers: “I finally gave it up a few weeks ago, after I went out for a steak with my friend Zakk Wylde. I might as well have sealed my arse with cement.” [1] Needless to say that even though Ozzy went “green” in his alimentation, it doesn’t mean that he will join Morrissey’s “Meat is Murder” crusade anytime soon. Everybody know that the man had his fair share of animal cruelty issues in his life not to mention that he really did like eating meat while it was still physically possible:
I mean, I used to work in a slaughterhouse, killing 200 cows a day. I ate a bat, for fuck sake. You won’t see me marching over the frozen tundra, hunting down seal-clubber. [2]
So, all of you organic obsessed health gurus and other grass eating freak out there, if you thought for one second that you managed to enroll Ozzy Osbourne in your environmental mumbo-jumbo, well, you’re greatly mistaken. Ozzy tells his readers that he doesn’t buy into organics either:
I ain’t into an of that organic bollocks, either. People think they’re buying another day on this earth when they pay for that stuff, so they get ripped off. If you want organic, grow your own man. [3]
Beside having all the fresh veggies you want for a fraction of the price without pesticides and other chemical crap, there are many more other reasons why having a garden in your backyard can be not only useful but also a lot of fun too. Ozzy explains:
I used to [have a garden] when I was married to my first wife and we had a little cottage in Ranton, Staffordshire. A vegie patch also happens to be a great place to hide your stash of drugs. Havin said that, I’d always get stoned and forget where I’d burried the stuff. One time, I spend a whole week down the garden, trying to find a lump of Afghan hash. The missus thought I was just really worried about my carrots. [4]
When his book Trust Me. I’m Doctor Ozzy was being written somehere between 2011 and 2012, the old man was already faltering with his new lifestyle since at one point in the book he already refering to himself as a “borderline vegetarian.” Which means that he was struggling. He tells his reader that he got himself an Ethiopian cook twho cook up veggies for him on the barbecue with brown rice. “It’s spicy and not boring at all,” he says, “and there’s nothing like a good old curry to unplug a clogged 62-year-old arshole.” [5] It’ s pretty hard to keep it up when you’re on the road, he complained, because you can’t always get hold of heallthy food when you’re far away from home – althought you enventually you just loose your tolerance for meat. Having meat when your system kinda lost the habit of processing it, can have so dire consequences. Ozzy explains:
I remember one time in 1968 when one of my old bandmates from Black Sabbath, Terrence “Geezer” Butler – the first vegetarian I’ ever met – ate hot dog in Belgium ‘cos he was broke and starving, and it was the only thing he could scrounge that day. The poor bloke was in hospital a few hours later. I don’t think he took another shit until 1983. [6]
Ozzy’s Ultimate Failure as a Vegan
There are some things aren’t meant to be in life and most of the time it is easy to recognize them because they just sound wrong the very first time you utter the words. You know, things like “Ozzy Osbourne being a vegan.” The Prince of Darkness, out of sheer necessity, reluctantly attempted to adopt a completely animal-free diet, but it was an epic fail. In fact, he is eating more meat than ever after his incredibly short, meat-free stint. Ozzy, who went vegan for less than a month in 2012, told Rip It Up, that he tried to purge his diet of animal byproducts, but confessed that he wasn’t able hang on. “I tried it, but I didn’t last more than a week or two,” he admitted. “I’m eating more meat now than ever!” [7] The only animal meat he has yet to consume? Horse. “The only meat I haven’t touched is the horse they’re eating over here. I’ll eat anything,” [8] he said. The Rock ‘n Roll legend admitted that the notion of Ozzy-as-vegan was a bit out of the ordinary, since he is most notorious for biting the heads off of birds, bats and other avian creatures. “How can the guy who bit the head off several creatures suddenly turn full circle and now live on vegetables?,” he mused. “That doesn’t sound right. I was Satan last week, now I’m on some fucking do-it-yourself gardening experience.” [9] The man doesn’t mind much about breaking his resolution and is overtly joking about it; it’s not the first time Ozzy break a good resolution and certainly not the last. Instead of a vegan diet, Ozzy is now subsisting on a low-carb, high-protein diet to stay in shape, since he is, after all, a senior citizen. “I’ve dropped 30 pounds and I exercise like a freak. I’m 65 this year. God only knows how I got that far – I should have been dead a thousand times,” he joked. [10]
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[1] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Doctor Ozzy, p. xxvii
[2] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Doctor Ozzy, p. xxvii-xxvii
[5] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Doctor Ozzy, p. 20
[6] Ozzy Osbourne, Trust Me, I’m Doctor Ozzy, p. 20-21
[7] Scott McLennan Black Sabbath: Ozzy Osbourne Interview, Rip it Up, Mar 14, 2013 12:44PM
[8] Scott McLennan, Black Sabbath: Ozzy Osbourne Interview, Rip it Up, Mar 14, 2013 12:44PM
[9] Scott McLennan, Black Sabbath: Ozzy Osbourne Interview, Rip it Up, Mar 14, 2013 12:44PM.
[10] Scott McLennan, Black Sabbath: Ozzy Osbourne Interview, Rip it Up, Mar 14, 2013 12:44PM.
