Hey girls: Have you ever been jealous that, unlike your male companions, you can’t pee standing up? Public peeing for people with penises is generally no big deal. There’s no sitting involved, no squatting; no dirty toilet seats to deal with and no pulling one’s pants down to one’s ankles.  But, baring your bootie during inclement weather, or through multiple layers and a climbing harness can be a total pisser when trying to take one. Great female outdoors lovers and wild jungle adventurers confirms this fact: “the one area that I am continuously envious of is the male ability to pee while standing,” Kitty Jenkin told The Guardian.  Filthy rest-stop restrooms have never been an issue for men, whereas women have had to hover precariously or mummify the seat. Anna Holmes from Jezbel confess: “The only time we’ve felt penis envy is while peeing at, you know, rock festivals or in campgrounds or any place where there are 1) no bathrooms or 2) disgusting PortaPotties.”  Fortunately for women these hard times may now belong to the past. The Web been barraged in recent months with press releases from companies who claim to have solved an age-old problem for women adventurers: How to pee standing up–without sacrificing cleanliness, frostbite, or time futzing with harness buckles while climbing big mountains.  Whether called a female urination device, female urination aid, stand-to-pee device or portable urination device, they all do the same thing — allow a woman to pee while standing, without removing her clothes. They vary in size, shape and materials, but the general concept of the portable urination device is pretty consistent across the board: a funnel which can be placed over the vaginal area to catch and direct urine. Some are hard plastic. Some are silicone. Some are paper and disposable. Some even replicate the male organ, for transgendered men still in transition.  This blossoming category of gear seemed too comical to be true, but one female mountain guide, Molly Loomis of Exum Mountain Guides stepped up to the plate and agreed to dig deep into the world of “she-nises” (her words) Over the course of six months, from desert canyons to the tops of snowy peaks, she and her team of three intrepid women mastered the art of peeing while standing. Then she listed the seven devices they tested, listed in order of performance.  As Slate proclaimed it: “Go home, everyone. We’ve solved the confidence gap.”  But dont set your hopes too high, “Pissing into a funnel is not as easy as they make it sound,” Vice reporter Kara Crabb tells us. 
This isn’t a new concept. Historically, in many cultures women would stand to urinate. Changes in societal norms and women’s clothing all but eliminated that practice in the 20th century though — particularly in Western cultures. Therefore, as early as 1922 portable urination devices for females were patented in the U.S. Recently the market has been flooded with various devices, as they are being marketed to everyone from avid outdoorswomen and female service members, to on-the-go women who don’t want to be bothered with worrying about the cleanliness of the nearest bathroom. They are particularly popular in Europe, where most of the devices on the market originate from. Here’s a quick breakdown of some of the brands available, with their pros and cons.
The The P-Mate, a simple, ingenious little waxed-paper device designed to allow women to urinate while standing up and while wearing pants, skirts, dresses… whatever. Think of it as a lime-green colored surrogate penis that resembles a paper airplane. Anyway, lucky for us, a blogger named Rachel Walden gave the P-Mate a test drive, and conducted three tests — in zippered jeans, a long skirt, and while drunk! — and had a pretty easy time in each instance. In fact, mastering the point ‘n shoot was easier than she thought it would be!  “I relaxed and thought of all the times I’ve seen men go, and that seemed to cause me to automatically assume the correct position,” she writes. (According to the image above left, the “correct position” includes placing a manly-fist on one hip?) No word from Rachel, however, on whether the P-Mate demands an end of pee shake-off… and we’ve kinda always wanted to mimic that! 
The ground zero for the remaking of gender relations will be the bathroom, and the instrument will be the Stand Up, “your first disposable, biodegradable, clutch-purse-fittable, pocket-slippable peeing accessory.”  A San Francisco-based company has created “Stand Up”, a “peeing device” that allows women to relieve themselves while standing up, just like men. This simple device promises to provide women with a convenient solution when faced with dirty public toilets—not only is it hygienic and biodegradable, but it would also fit easily into a purse or even a slim pocket. According to the makers of Stand Up, users would simply have to unfold it, squeeze it to create a cone-shaped structure, before placing it in front of the crotch to start using it. Designed to help “women keep their distance from the mess and feel the freedom to go anytime, anywhere”, the Stand Up is priced from US$6 for a pack of six. You can purchase this innovative device here.  A hot magenta triangle that funnels your pee into the toilet without requiring you to sit down, the Stand Up is perpendicular pee origami. “We’d overheard your voices countless times through the cracks in the stalls of public restrooms before we realized there was a solution,” explains the website. “‘This toilet is disgusting!’ “Never mind, I’ll hold it.’ ‘I wish I could just stand up!’ We knew our world needed an update.” 
Blitz Specialty Funnel
Like the Freshette, the She Wee’s slimmed down design makes it ideal for weight conscious climbers and backpackers. The marketing on the She Wee is great: It comes in a discreet carrying box, is available in three different colors, has a detachable funnel for storage, and heck they even sell “X-Front” underpants to make placement a breeze. It has a small cup though, which can make collection a little less precise.  One BackPacker.com tester made a small ditty sack for it that she kept clipped to her harness while on long, multi-pitch climbs in Red Rocks. Downer: Small mouth and cup takes more practice than most. $12; .6 oz.; sheweeusa.com 
Lightweight and malleable end up being the pros and cons of this device. It has a small, shallow mouth which can hinder collection. It’s antibacterial though, and has water-repelling qualities which make clean-up a snap.  Whiz Freedom’s lightweight and malleable design is intriguing, as is the sparkly pink storage pouch. But the pliable plastic combined with a small, shallow mouth leaves too much room for icky errors. This what the tester from BackPacker.com had to say about it: “I wish I had spent more time practicing at home before venturing out on a backcountry ski without a dry pair of long underwear,” she said. Downer: Tough to use in a hurry. $25; .5 oz.; whizfreedom.com 
Freshette Sports/Travel Package