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Home / 2015 / July

Monthly Archives: July 2015

Hundred of Sex Toys Found Hanging from Portland Power Lines

Amid the sleepy, irony-lined streets of Portland, Oregon, a menace looms quietly from above—and if you don’t look up, you could miss it.  [9]Someone has been up to no good in Portland recently as passersby are amazed, embarrassed, or just plain amused to see hundreds of sex toys dangling from the power lines. [1] Local media reported that numerous sex toys ...

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Lesbian Arrested After Hitting Ex-Girlfriend In Face With Dildo

Florida woman Annette Kielhurn was arrested on domestic assault charges last weekend after she hit her ex-girlfriend in the face with a dildo.  [1] The Smoking Gun reports that the 57-year-old objected to a dress that her partner wanted to wear. [7] [8]  Kielhurn’s ex-girlfriend Gamze Capaner-Ridley was attended by a police escort when she went to Keilhurn’s home to retrieve some ...

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Woman Crashed Car While Driving And Masturbating At Once

A horny female motorist caused a minor traffic accident as she was pleasuring herself with a sex toy in her car in broad daylight.  The woman, whose name kept secret, was driving her car when it suddenly lurched forward and hit the van in Cirencester, England, UK. The woman was caught red-handed holding a sex toy and hurriedly buttoning her pants by the camera of the truck. ...

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Man Arrested Driving His Car While Sucking On a Dildo

  A 30-year-old Minnesota woman was sitting at a crowded St. Paul bus stop when a man in a red truck pulled up in front of her. As the light turned green, the man sat parked in his vehicle obstructing traffic while several cars behind him honked their horns in frustration. The woman at the bus stop became concerned and ...

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Liberal Tolerance and Inclusiveness: Cis Drag Queens Banned from Pride Event Because They Offend Transgenders

 The organizers of Free Pride Glasgow in Scotland have hit a snag in their mission to plan a totally inclusive event: Some activists think drag queens are offensive to transgender people, others think banning drag queens is offensive to transgender drag queens, and still others think allowing only transgender drag queens is offensive to cisgender drag queens. [1]  In short everyone ...

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Brain-Dead Joanna Krupa Strip Naked for Animal Rights

PETA’s strip naked lunacy hit the news once again.  Joanna Krupa, 36, continued her quest for fair treatment of animals as she threw off her clothes and added some strategically applied body paint for yet another stupid animal rights campaign. The 36-year-old former Real Housewives Of Miami star is seen covered only in black and white body-paint to mimic the appearance of a ...

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Man Dies During Sex with Scarecrow He Strapped Sex Toy On

A kinky Argentinian man croaked while having sex with a scarecrow that he dressed in lipstick and a wig — and strapped a sex toy on, according to reports. Jose Alberto, 58, was found dead in his San Jose de Balcare home, lying next to the straw doll, the Mirror reported. “There were no signs of violence, and we are ...

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Drinking Tea Makes you a Racist Colonialist

So now we know just how serious the Guardian is about breaking America: the newspaper has dumped British tea. Not content with the declaration of war on HP Sauce last year, the sandal-wearing bores have found a new enemy lurking within British society: dirty, racist tea. Joel Golby (who writes about ‘general stuff for VICE and the Guardian Guide’) today shines the light of progressive thought on this ...

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Enjoying HP Sauce Makes you a Racist Philistine

Some people may be inclined to believe this is a piss-take, but the truth is that if they persist in this leftist line of thought, the Guardian may soon completely disappeared up its own bottom. [1] If we are to believe one of their most recent article, it would seem that enjoying HP Sauce basically makes you some sort of quasi-racist, Ukip-voting, little-England philistine: ‘Created in ...

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People Who Like Barbecues are Oppressing Women

Slate dumbass writer and self proclaimed “male feminist” Jacob Brogan thinks that men should feel guilty for enjoying the inherently misogynistic past time of grilling food on a BBQ and he wrote an entire article on the topic.  [1] Reading his paper, we are tempted to think that this is an article out of the Onion. Unfortunately this is not a parody. It’s just another illustration of ...

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Feminists Now Claim that Air Conditioning is a Sexist Plot

According to Washington Post columnist Petula Dvorak, the latest example of the evil patriarchy trying to oppress women in the workplace comes in the form of air conditioning, yes folks you heard right… air conditioning.   The Washington Post spent two days, three articles and over 1,500 words (some of which manages to quote itself) explaining that air conditioning is sexist ...

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Obama is Now Coming After Your Dishwashing Machine

HHaving saddled Americans with toilets that don’t flush, the federal government is now preparing to force them to use dishwashers that don’t wash, a move that government and industry forecasts agree will harm both consumers and the dishwasher industry.  [3] Energy-efficiency standards for dishwashers proposed by the US Department of Energy would turn “back the clock to the days of ...

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